I made a spam account and you should all go and follow it cause its gonna be amazing (self promo at its finest)and if you don't you will be missing out on my beautiful face and tragic life.
its gonna be great hopefully also shoutout to Shanice and Anton for the help and making me do it.
Okkayy this is gonna be a strange blog post as its over a couple of days. Its also quite personally well actually very personal, but I kinda like writing things out as I don't talk to people about things often. So don't judge, cause you don't know me also you don't know how I work or cope.
TUESDAY- APPOINTMENT DAY
hahahhahah well that was comical and embarrassing, I'm not sure if I have ever been in a situation where I feel so uncomfortable, was actually a joke. But yano even though I don't wanna go like I was blackmailed to go to this one, I have made another for in a few weeks cause it makes my mum happy and I guess she doesn't worry as much.
Oh my holy lord you wouldn't believe that I spent the rest of the night crying, I'm so fake around people its so bad I feel like I've gotten so good at hiding how I feel as I've been hiding this since last Christmas and no one noticed.
THURSDAY-LEAVING FOR LOUGHBROUGH
my life is a mess, I stood outside college for 40 minutes whilst it was chucking it down waiting for a bus just for my mum to ring me and say that I need to go to my grandmas anyway. So then I had to walk to oxford road, whilst it was still raining then get on a packed vantage with a dead phone and no charger, just for the bus to talk an hour an a half to get back because o traffic; this journey take 30-40 minutes normally. I looked like I had been swimming in my clothes.
FRIDAY-LOUGHBROUGH OPEN DAY
so I love Loughborough, I wanna stay there for 4-5 years depending on placement years and foundation years however I canny afford that, like its actually ridiculous but I wanna go soooo bad. Would highly recommend.
I feel so ridiculous though cause I stress myself out so easily and then cry like I canny handle this.
So I'm not sure what to title this day as it was a celebration of some sorts I guess. For you all who don't know today is Joanna's 18th birthday Which we felt we needed to celebrate as we would be celebrating with her is she was still her so we needed to do it in honour of her I guess. So to celebrate this occasion me, Lilah and Charlotte all went for pizza at '6 Cut' and then we and Lilah took Oscar on a walk and talked. It was so nice and I'm so glad I did it, and now I feel so much better as we just talked shared memories idk it was good though as I avoided dancing today cause I kinda wanted to pretend like it was a normal day for the most part of it and being stuck at dancing for 6-7 hours with no where to escape didn't seem to be like a safe option. We also wrote a card and posted it though Joanna's family's door which was cute and wouldn't be a thing if it wasn't for Lilah as me and charlotte are terrible at things like that.
So that's the end of this blog post I wanna say more but I don't know what to say and if I say anymore its weird cause you don't know who she was but I can tell you that you missed out if you didn't know ever she was a rare beauty. Also if you have any spare money which I don't and need a charity or organisation to donate to I would highly suggest anything to do with Meningitis.
Always choose happiness as you never know what will happen.