So I'm totally the wrong person for this cause I have zero experience or knowledge but I some how end up still giving a lot of advice so lets try this.
So I don't exactly have any ex's that I count as ex's soz if that is disappointing to anyone. Although I have had a couple little things that haven't turned into anything but I'm completely fine with that, as it is usually because I scare myself, I'm weird okay and I get inside my head ALOT.
I would say I'm kind of invisible and I love that, really I do. I like how nobody notices me because then I can just be me and not worry what others think, honestly I would bet sooo much on that fact that you would all be shocked when you see me around people I'm comfortable or used to being with, literally when I'm with Shanice or Eleanor I'm crazy and usually in tears (of laughter). I don't try and get noticed ever, that freaks me out, like I cannot process how some people are like it just doesn't make sense In my head how they go so far to get noticed by people, like why bother.
Believe me I get crushes, like I had a crush on this one guy all of college, its was literally at the point when someone from the group chat (my friend group chat is named the power rangers, just wanted to add that in there even though I have never seen it) would tell me if they had see him. But I also like when its unexpected like this other guy is in my form and he hated me for no reason like NO REASON WHAT SO EVER (me and el have our suspicions on why he did but he doesn't know that) but me being me some how got in to a situation where I think I may a little like a very small amount like him, its so weird cause I really didn't expect it like truly honestly unbelievably didn't but it happened but now shock horror I freaked out about 2 weeks ago, maybe its like a sign but its a terrible one.
So that's kinda of a terrible explanation of my situation and me but lets see if my 'advice' will be any better, it really wont be but I'm trying okay?
1. Don't chase a guy ever, if he isn't showing interest then don't waste your time, I get people don't like being easy but being hard to get and not being interested are very different thing. there isn't any point for you to put in effort if your getting nothing from it and you are just setting yourself up to get heartbroken and believe me I know it hurts. I'm such a paranoid person like I don't mind starting a conversation but I cant be the one all the time because then I get in my head that I'm being annoying and needy so I just don't. I have no idea if that's how boys see it but that's how I do so I just kind of leave things like if someone wanted to talk that much then they wouldn't leave it all to you.
2. Surround yourself with people, literally as soon as I freaked I rang my bestie crying, and we arrange my week to keep me busy so I wouldn't think about it and I was completely fine, she stayed over one night, I went to a party and stayed at another friends like I was completely fine like nothing had happened because I had who I needed however if I was more attacked or if something was actually going on between us and it went wrong then I guess you would be less fine but you should still surround yourself with good people.
3. Never push for something to happen, a relationship is a two sided thing so effort has to come from both sides. If someone wanted to talk or spend time with you they would make that time and talk to you, so it isn't one sided thing because then you are setting yourself up for failure.
4. Expect things to be different when around people because it always happens.
5. Don't argue over stupid things, its pointless also never argue to get things out of each other, like don't argue with someone in order for you to get information or reassurance, just ask them a question.
6. Try not to get too close to someone until you know where you both stand. I am such one of these people because I like to keep my distance to protect myself I guess if anything goes wrong or is it isn't what I expected.
7. Stay away from toxic people !!!!! I literally cannot say this loud enough, I have been there and its the worst thing ever I spent a year in a toxic friendship where me and this guy who I have known for like 4 years were very close, like we were each others go to but being like that with each other became complicated because feelings became confused but neither of us knew what to do about it and it became so toxic like looking back I hate myself for putting myself through it but I was dealing with a lot and didn't think I would be okay without him because I had been convinced that I needed him and I didn't and I'm very happy to be out of that situation. So basically leave what ever situation it is you just have to leave because I now have to many barriers because of what I went through.
8. Take a break if things get too much, I hate myself for being like this but I let things build up on me which is the worse thing ever but now I cant really get out of it, so by taking a break from people and social media can be the best thing ever, I now never have Instagram notifications of Instagram and I also don't have snapchat names on so like it just says I have a notification another thing is that I turn my plane mode on a lot like I ignored someone for 44 hours the other week because I kinda of just forget I have it on.
9. So award to the biggest hypocrite of the year goes to me but don't compare yourself to anyone, its the hardest thing ever not to I'm so aware of that I literally do it 24/7 but you can't because the more you allow yourself to do so the more it will effect you.
10. Take time for yourself because being in a relationship wont help you love yourself you have to do that on your own.
11. This isn't really advice but I wanted to include it, so basically I wont sleep if I'm arguing with someone or if me and another person are like ignoring each other like my body literally wont let me sleep and literally no one knows this about me but I can guarantee if we have ever argued and left it unresolved over a night I wont have slept ever and it gets even worse because if it continue longer I still wont sleep, I don't know why but I do it and I hate it cause half the time they are not worth it well most of the time because they cant even be bothered to resolve it so I can sleep like because it doesn't effect them so they are okay. So basically resolve things straight away because you don't know other people as well as you may think and some may be strange like me and not be able to sleep. also another reason is that you don't know what could happen at any point and the thought that I could be in the middle of something like that and something happens scares me so just avoid it at all costs.
So that's it for this post but don't worry I will be continuing this with a follow up at some point. I hope this helped and you can always message me if you ever need any help I'm always here much love