Right now I am either on a plane or in New York, my maths is terrible so I'm not gonna try and work it out. If you are reading this it means Ell remembered to post it for meeeee, so well done I'm proud.
Little mini week update... it may have been the craziest and most confusing week in a while and I am still confused about it all. Seriously though people try to ask me questions about it or try to find out whats gone on and I literally don't know what to say because I have no idea whats happening, seriously don't remember feeling this confused about something. To add to the confusion and just make my week more stressful I got given my exam papers on Friday and I have no idea what I'm doing and I only have 8 weeks; great 8 weeks so I'm done with everything before my birthday but then not great because that only 8 FLIPPING WEEEEEEEKS. But we are gonna stay calm because everything will be okay and I will figure it out so there is no need to freak or panic.
Soooooo on to the big exciting thing happening right now, New York. I'm soooo excited its gonna be soooooo crazy and fun. literally this is gonna sound so weird but recently I haven't been feeling like myself but I am starting to feel like myself more like everyday which is great and I'm loving it and I'm hoping I can go away have an amazing time and come back to the happy giddy molly who I used to be because I miss her a lot. Although there is a problem New York right now is cold, very cold and if you know me all I do is complain about being cold so I am very nervous about how cold I am actually gonna be so if anyone wants to send over and spare hoodies I would be very grateful, literally I sleep with two quilts, two blankets and in a hoodie.
PRAY FOR MEEEE I WILL BE RETURNING AS AN ICE BLOCK.
So this is it for this week, I hope you enjoyed this mini ramble. My next post will hopefully be dedicated to New York unless something massive happens that you have to know about also hopefully it will be up on Sunday as I get back Saturday but lets see how tired I am first.
Much love Molly xx
So if you read my post last week you would know It was a bit of a shambles and one of those things I was stressed about was Chloe's party, although I am here alive so it was all good. I may have been a little over dressed but I took off my heels anyway because I just couldn't be bothered wearing them all night. I may have also adopted Joanne's jacket because surprisingly I was cold, Other than that it was a great night and I loved it, Joanne even made me a pizza cause I may be a extremely fussy eater.
So on to the makeup …..
This is me from a solid 0 to a weak 4 tee heeee I am very aware how posy I am but I had to borrow them from my spam.
So this was the makeup I wore to go to Chloe's party which i wore with my black velvet dress, backheels and pink frilly socks. I hope you are all having an amazing week and if you are not its okay its one bad moment which means there are many amazing ones to come.
I'm so excited for this year, there's so many amazing things happening and I can't wait to experience it all. I may of had a bad start and I am annoyed at myself but I don't care I have so many amazing things planned that I don't have time to waste it.
Thought I would include these precious clips cause they made me smile.
So whilst writing this section its Friday night and I'm stressing because I don't know what to wear to Chloe's birthday party tomorrow, I'm so bad with things like this like how dressy do I go, mini dress and heels with makeup and hair done or in a pinafore or skirt, heels and crop top, I like have too many options and cant decided so I am gonna call Ell later and she is gonna help me put a few outfits together so I can find out tomorrow at dancing. So obviously I took to the spam account to get opinions on which to wear, lets hope it goes well.
Wow okay 5th attempt at writing this post, I literally just don't know what to say so ill just give you a low down on the week I think. Tuesday I didn't go to college as I had no lessons so I went round to Ell's to do a shoot and we sang karaoke with her sister Lilly who is like a lil gem and then I had a New York meeting at college which was always great.
Wednesday was a great day I found out I have been on the wrong tablets for like 2 months because they were too concentrated or something so love that for me, so basically I have been really unbalanced because of them and had been fainting loads so I had bloods done and that's how they found out that they were unbalancing me. So on new tablets and now I literally have sooo much energy and feel so much better.
Thursday I had soo much energy which I loved soo much, RE was cancelled which wasn't great and my hands turned white from the weather. But I did a shoot for charlotte's Urbanasticks so let me know if ya need a model who isn't photogenic in the slightest. Dancing was also great and part of me thinks its because I feel so much better on these new tablets however I have made my injury worse so now I'm in pain constantly but we are working on show dances so I gotta keep up.
Friday was good I went to town with Martha and picked up a few things then came home rang Ell and Bethan and planned my outfits. - this may be weird but I plan all my outfits like the night before or in this case I have planned possibly outfits for Chloe's party and then Mondays outfit for college.
So ye I'm doing great also loving a Disney playlist abit too much but gotta love Hannah Montana, well I hope you are all doing great as well because I love ya all.
So I'm totally the wrong person for this cause I have zero experience or knowledge but I some how end up still giving a lot of advice so lets try this.
So I don't exactly have any ex's that I count as ex's soz if that is disappointing to anyone. Although I have had a couple little things that haven't turned into anything but I'm completely fine with that, as it is usually because I scare myself, I'm weird okay and I get inside my head ALOT.
I would say I'm kind of invisible and I love that, really I do. I like how nobody notices me because then I can just be me and not worry what others think, honestly I would bet sooo much on that fact that you would all be shocked when you see me around people I'm comfortable or used to being with, literally when I'm with Shanice or Eleanor I'm crazy and usually in tears (of laughter). I don't try and get noticed ever, that freaks me out, like I cannot process how some people are like it just doesn't make sense In my head how they go so far to get noticed by people, like why bother.
Believe me I get crushes, like I had a crush on this one guy all of college, its was literally at the point when someone from the group chat (my friend group chat is named the power rangers, just wanted to add that in there even though I have never seen it) would tell me if they had see him. But I also like when its unexpected like this other guy is in my form and he hated me for no reason like NO REASON WHAT SO EVER (me and el have our suspicions on why he did but he doesn't know that) but me being me some how got in to a situation where I think I may a little like a very small amount like him, its so weird cause I really didn't expect it like truly honestly unbelievably didn't but it happened but now shock horror I freaked out about 2 weeks ago, maybe its like a sign but its a terrible one.
So that's kinda of a terrible explanation of my situation and me but lets see if my 'advice' will be any better, it really wont be but I'm trying okay?
1. Don't chase a guy ever, if he isn't showing interest then don't waste your time, I get people don't like being easy but being hard to get and not being interested are very different thing. there isn't any point for you to put in effort if your getting nothing from it and you are just setting yourself up to get heartbroken and believe me I know it hurts. I'm such a paranoid person like I don't mind starting a conversation but I cant be the one all the time because then I get in my head that I'm being annoying and needy so I just don't. I have no idea if that's how boys see it but that's how I do so I just kind of leave things like if someone wanted to talk that much then they wouldn't leave it all to you.
2. Surround yourself with people, literally as soon as I freaked I rang my bestie crying, and we arrange my week to keep me busy so I wouldn't think about it and I was completely fine, she stayed over one night, I went to a party and stayed at another friends like I was completely fine like nothing had happened because I had who I needed however if I was more attacked or if something was actually going on between us and it went wrong then I guess you would be less fine but you should still surround yourself with good people.
3. Never push for something to happen, a relationship is a two sided thing so effort has to come from both sides. If someone wanted to talk or spend time with you they would make that time and talk to you, so it isn't one sided thing because then you are setting yourself up for failure.
4. Expect things to be different when around people because it always happens.
5. Don't argue over stupid things, its pointless also never argue to get things out of each other, like don't argue with someone in order for you to get information or reassurance, just ask them a question.
6. Try not to get too close to someone until you know where you both stand. I am such one of these people because I like to keep my distance to protect myself I guess if anything goes wrong or is it isn't what I expected.
7. Stay away from toxic people !!!!! I literally cannot say this loud enough, I have been there and its the worst thing ever I spent a year in a toxic friendship where me and this guy who I have known for like 4 years were very close, like we were each others go to but being like that with each other became complicated because feelings became confused but neither of us knew what to do about it and it became so toxic like looking back I hate myself for putting myself through it but I was dealing with a lot and didn't think I would be okay without him because I had been convinced that I needed him and I didn't and I'm very happy to be out of that situation. So basically leave what ever situation it is you just have to leave because I now have to many barriers because of what I went through.
8. Take a break if things get too much, I hate myself for being like this but I let things build up on me which is the worse thing ever but now I cant really get out of it, so by taking a break from people and social media can be the best thing ever, I now never have Instagram notifications of Instagram and I also don't have snapchat names on so like it just says I have a notification another thing is that I turn my plane mode on a lot like I ignored someone for 44 hours the other week because I kinda of just forget I have it on.
9. So award to the biggest hypocrite of the year goes to me but don't compare yourself to anyone, its the hardest thing ever not to I'm so aware of that I literally do it 24/7 but you can't because the more you allow yourself to do so the more it will effect you.
10. Take time for yourself because being in a relationship wont help you love yourself you have to do that on your own.
11. This isn't really advice but I wanted to include it, so basically I wont sleep if I'm arguing with someone or if me and another person are like ignoring each other like my body literally wont let me sleep and literally no one knows this about me but I can guarantee if we have ever argued and left it unresolved over a night I wont have slept ever and it gets even worse because if it continue longer I still wont sleep, I don't know why but I do it and I hate it cause half the time they are not worth it well most of the time because they cant even be bothered to resolve it so I can sleep like because it doesn't effect them so they are okay. So basically resolve things straight away because you don't know other people as well as you may think and some may be strange like me and not be able to sleep. also another reason is that you don't know what could happen at any point and the thought that I could be in the middle of something like that and something happens scares me so just avoid it at all costs.
So that's it for this post but don't worry I will be continuing this with a follow up at some point. I hope this helped and you can always message me if you ever need any help I'm always here much love
It makes me sad how true that title is but its okay cause I am an amazing mess and anyone who gets to witness this is lucky. So far this year a lot has happened like its only because I have discovered that gin is my drink but with lemonade not tonic.
I am honestly looking forward to this year so much. I have New York at the start of February which is gonna be amazing but I think we need to pray for Martha because she is stuck on the plane with me, love that for her. This year I also have my 18th birthday and everyone else's birthday, although I might be broke from buying new dresses for them. Bigger news I'm starting cheerleading tomorrow with Abby and I'm so excited cause anyone who actually knows me knows how much I love my dancing which leads on to the Lowery performance as it will be coming up but I'm not actually sure when but its some time this year also we have this years show which is all circus based, so for street we are doing Britney spears' song circus and me and Abby want to do a song from IT for ballet, It's going to be so good.
Wow that was a lot in one paragraph.
It's literally 6 days into this year and I already have two new pinafore, I'm obsessed with my new alien perfume, I have a new charm and I'm behind on work. My problem is that I can't work when I'm just at home all day, like ino as soon as I get back to college I will be fine and I will get all my work done I just can't when I'm off.
More worrying news is that my mum seriously thinks I have anaemia because I'm always cold, being deadly serious I sleep with two quilts and two blankets and I'm still cold, like my feet and hands are always freezing and I'm always shaking from like being cold. honestly I live in hoodies and fluffy socks cause I can't function. So yano I googled symptoms and a few options came up including anaemia, hypothyroidism and some others, so I have dry skin, I'm always exhausted but can never sleep, I'm pale but maybe I'm just pale for life, I cant concentrate, I'm dizzy a lot, I have numb feet and hands most of the time, I have the worst memory ever it's almost like I zone out in situations but don't remember zoning out, its weird and there's some other things. So it is a possibility there may actually be something wrong with me.
I think that might be it for me to update you all on, so I hope you liked this mess of a post but yano its a mess like me so it is all good. I hope you are all having an amazing start of the year.